Is Science 'Fun'?

After a long week of stressful meetings, long work, and failed experiments, I'm driven to ask myself the question: Is science fun? At any point during my Ph.D., past the initial problems I faced putting together a research project, I definitely would have answered 'yes'. Though often stressful in its own way, a Ph.D. still feels like school, with a certain detachement from having to think about 'real life' and 'the future'. A year into my postdoc now, I can definitely say that the pressure to actually accomplish something is much more acute.

I'm now in the process of juggling multiple projects, each of which is a) more fascinating than what I've done before, and b) more challenging than what I've done before. My lab mates and I are forging new ground in a field that's quite 'the rage' at the moment, meaning that anything interesting that we produce will likely lead to high-impact papers. It also means that many other competent folks are thinking of doing the same sorts of things that we are - increasing the likelihood of being 'scooped'.

For a long time during the past year, I found myself less inclined to think about science outside of the workplace. I stopped reading science-related books, stopped frequenting science blogs, and really toned down the amount of working from home I did1. It took me a while, but I recently realized that this pattern was far more like a 'real job' than a beloved career (if I'm going to be doing something that I don't enjoy, I'd better be making a heck of a lot more dough than what a postdoc brings in!). To clarify though, it's not that I didn't enjoy what I was doing - it's that I was stressing out over it too much.

As a postdoc, you can't really afford to work less, but you can think of ways to work more intelligently. You can do things like better organize your projects, make sure you're working on problems that you personally find exciting, set concrete and well-defined goals, etc. Good time-management skills are a must to have even reached this level, but like any art, one can always improve. Somewhat paradoxically, I also also think that it's important to make sure that you're productive during the time that I'm not working. I want to feel that my time off is actually relaxing, and not contributing to my stress in other areas.

So I guess the new question for me is: "Do the increased responsabilities and stress level associated with postdoc-ing diminish some of science's allure?" Unfortunately, my answer is a 'yes', but only partially. Some of the grand mystique of the entire enterprise is diminshed by the reality of working towards one's future and realizing that unlike most people, you still don't have a 'real' job yet. However, anyone who doesn't love science to begin with and yet still chooses to postdoc is looking for dissapointment. Though the honeymoon may be over, recognizing that the reality of real life has set in is not necessarily a bad thing, right?

1To cover my own butt, I should note that this also coincided with spending many more hours in the lab, frequently staying past 7 pm, and working weekends.